The beginnings of finding ‘purpose’.

Generally, before I begin sharing any new ideas I usually like to begin with an ‘introduction’ of sorts. Just to give a bit of wider context, cause you know creative minds and the expression of them can often appear a little random.

So here goes…

The last three years of my life have largely been dedicated to healing (amongst other things of course, because few of us are really ever fortunate enough to focus on solely one task at a time in this here 21st century world). Anywho, as I delve deeper into my healing journey and begin to learn more, my understanding of my personal ‘purpose’ has continuously become clearer and clearer to me. And as a result, I find myself back at my keyboard, compelled to share parts of me and my journey with anyone who may happen to come across these posts.

My journey has at times been incredibly lonely and although I think in order to really come to terms with parts of yourself solitude can’t be escaped, I am also aware that part of the loneliness I have experienced is because spaces where others are being open with the realities of their own healing seem to be few.

If I want inspiration/support around topics like diet, clothes or make-up say, my options are plentiful. But spaces that champion the harder/deeper parts of life seem to…

A. Be wrapped in an air of fakery. You know what I’m talking about. Like when ‘veganism’ became trendy. Or ‘manifestation’, which seems to be one of the latest wellness practices that have been turned into some sort of trend. These things are spoken about through a lens that to me feels anything but genuine. But unlike the other topics I mentioned formerly, real-life matters can’t be handled as a fad. They require patience, wisdom and sensitivity.

Or

B. Sparse, I just really struggle to find spaces focused on championing healing.

For me, it sometimes feels like because of how quick life is moving these days if you choose to prioritise personal wellness you are likely to have to do it alone. Which is fine, I guess… much of life can be viewed as a one-man voyage. However, for me, knowing the ups and downs that I have experienced myself. Now that I have reached a more peaceful place I just feel constant gravitation towards wanting to help others who may be struggling to come to terms with the shift that trauma and other hardships force upon you.

Most of us are currently surviving in a society which more and more forces us to place our self worth and measure of success on monetary gain or worldly accolades. And as much as I understand the necessity for these things; my empathetic ass, though I try, can not overlook how as a collective it causes such separation. Sometimes it feels like we’ll eventually become robots, just operating to survive. That the genuine spark of life that was once found in the simple things will become completely erased. And I don’t know about y’all but that’s a scary thought to me. So as much as I know that I could write this and no one may ever read or resonate with it, I also know that the complete opposite is possible. That I could use my purpose to ensure positive change in the world, whether it be on a large or little scale.

Although I’m blessed with a fantastic network, certain topics that have come to light during my healing feel misplaced. As though to really unpick ‘loss’ as a whole, and its impact on me as a young black woman I need to speak on it with others who share similar experiences. A little while ago I realised that perhaps instead of waiting for someone to start these conversations I needed to be the one to start that ball rolling.

My healing has taught me so much and though I am aware that it’s a lifelong process of consciously committing to being a better me and gaining wisdom on how to do so. The part of the journey I have reached thus far has shined the importance of SHARING the wisdom I have learnt.

“When you learn, teach.

When you get, give.”

(One of my most favoured Maya Angelou quotes, and it’s really fitting for my current headspace.)

Words have always been a love of mine and in growing older I have come to realise that they play a major role in ‘my purpose’.

I used to be afraid of talking too much, but these days when I talk people tend to thank me for sharing or creating a space where they feel comfortable to share certain parts of their own experiences. In itself this really made me realise that by being open in this way I have the ability to aid others whilst they tackle their own life ish and I kinda love that. It makes me feel like life isn’t one big ladder to success, but more of a web where we all interlink and expand together.

So to conclude the first of these posts all about ‘purpose’. The beginnings of me finding my own were rooted in pain as a result of being confronted by life's unplanned difficulties and acceptance. Accepting that just like the very life we live, all things will one day cease to exist, so in the time where we are actively experiencing things we should attempt to feel and experience everything in its fullness. Only then can we really begin to live in abundance? (Maybe this was a little deep, but keep rocking with the posts and quite possibly some of these words may start to make a little more sense, promise!).

Thanks for reading,

Dee x